My boyfriend is addicted to porn, help. |
Question And Answer Category: Addiction |
Question: |
| Help Blankhelp Team, I appears that my boyfriend is addicted to porn. Well I'm not sure if it's a true porn addiction, but it seems he spends too much time looking at movies and porn on the internet. I'm concerned. He seems almost grumpy when he doesn't get his fix for the day. What can I do? How can I help? Should I change who I am, to get him away from the watching movies of other women? Not Anti-Porn, Jane |
Our Advice and Answer: |
| Dear Jane, First let us say we are sorry that you feel you are the cause for your boyfriends problems. Truth is, as long as you aren't encouraging it, there really isn't anything you can do. Let's go with the idea that your boyfriend has some type of addiction, this case porn. This is a personal matter, he has to make efforts to beat the addiction. When it becomes 'required' to function correctly, you mentioned he becomes grumpy without his porn fix, so it seems required to function. Now we aren't anti-porn either, but we are anti-negative addictions. This case porn seems to be a negative addiction, since it is negatively effecting your self esteem, and your relationship with your boyfriend. As for your boyfriend, YOU need to do something, ask yourself these questions: 1. Have you talked with someone that can help professionally in person? Many licensed therapists can help you, help your boyfriend by getting them into their office. So seek professional advice, and remember, this shouldn't cost anythings since many professional therapists will allow for a free 15 minute consult. Might even have to address issues that are effecting you also. 2. Have you identified whether your boyfriend is worth it? Face it, if you correct this issue, does he have another problem that effects your relationship? Is he prone to developing addictions? A porn addiction can look mute compared to gambling, drinking, or a violent addiction. Count your blessings, and it might be time to leave. Let him focus on what is important to him, and you can work on reestablishing your self esteem. 3. Have you talked with him, and how it makes you feel? What was his response? Has anything that he become interested in seeking professional help? 4. Have been making your own choices? Do you have some grand dream of what it's suppose to be like, and that dream is controlling your actions? Are you really looking at the relationship as a whole, seeing it's not a happy one, and only focusing on this one problem? While 1000's of others wait in the wings? Now take notice, we cannot treat you or your boyfriend's addiction. We only replied to your question with how we would possibly deal with the situation. You need to tackle this problem, by educating yourself about what you want, what professional options are available for your boyfriend's addiction to porn, and understanding is the goal even worth it. We wish you luck, and hope you see a professional asap. The BlankHelp Team |
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